Sex toys are becoming more of ‘ah thing’ globally in mainstream culture and for quite some time, even being embraced here in Trinidad and Tobago.
Popping up on social media, local websites and even on Dr. Raj’s commentary. It’s becoming a silent trend and more men seem to be indulging.
Though adult toys are unofficially claimed by women as a ‘backup’ to ease sexual difficulties and enhance sexual satisfaction, locally, there are still some men who take issue with sex toys and associate their use to the demasculinization of one’s manhood and men’s sexual prowess.
Traditional men are usually made to feel ashamed about masturbation and using sex toys – at least according to writer Magnus Sullivan (of Better Than the Hand: How Masturbation is the Key to Better Sex and Healthier Living), who states that it is vital that both men and women give these gadgets a try, as he believes they help to build a person’s understanding of their body and in turn helps them to a better lover.
However, this lack of representation arguably matches an unfortunate lack of public discussion around male sexual health and sex technology for pleasure.
Are ‘Trini’ men purchasing and using sex toys? What’s the verdict?
At IzzSo, we asked a few men what their thoughts on the use of sex toys and how comfortable they were about it? Here are some of their comments:
1. “I’m not too really opposed to the idea nah, but it’s not something that excites me. If my woman wants to use them, I’d do it cause she likes it. But I would rather like to think that I satisfy her enough and she doesn’t feel the need to buy a sex toy” – Vakash, 34
2. “Nah Nah, that is ‘bullaman ting’, buh I find it sexy when a girl likes to use it. Me and meh boys were talking about it at a lime and some mad stories came out, realllll scenes!” – Tevin, 28
3. “Oh kinky, why not?! I have a male masturbator sleeve I bought the other day. Well I like real rudeness too eh but I does use them when meh girlfriend salting meh,” – Aaron, 30
4. “I’m not opposed to them, however, I’d like to think that my talents and Kamasutra knowledge can more than satisfy my partner without the need of sex toys.” – David, 27
5. “My partner and I does regularly buy sex toys and have fun in the bedroom. I have my own sex toys I does use too, I like it” – Ramesh, 31
6. “I doh have no problem with that at all. You have to experiment to find out what truly turns you on.” – Grant, 35
7. “I think it’s a good thing as it allows us to be adventurous. It also spices things up a little. Don’t forget the lube though!! LOL” – Darren, 25
8. “This has never happened to me before nah, so it would probably be strange for me at first, I’m more of an old-fashioned kinda man. However, I guess it could be fun though and if it will heighten my sensation, why not?!” – Remy, 35
9. “Man shouldn’t use dem ting nah, God bless man with the right ting. I find it ungodly, men and women shouldn’t use that! And if yuh is a man and using that, yuh gay!” – Remy, 40
10. “I think that sex toys after a few years of marriage should be compulsory in the bedroom. Okay, not compulsory – as some people like routine nah – but I think they are very welcome. We’ve been married for 5 years, but to be honest we introduced sex toys to our relationship in the early days. We thought that it would help us to keep things more interesting, so we just sat down and checked what was available online and ordered a couple of them. Now, a few years on, we still like to try it when we see something new. The best thing is that you can use them together, or solo when one of us is away.” – Akino, 45
In 2009, two landmark studies at Indiana University released results on adult toys use among men and women in the United States.
Published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, a leading peer-reviewed journal in the area of urology and sexual health, these studies were the first to share findings from nationally representative sample groups.
For example, the study on men included 1,047 participants, while the study on women included 2,056 participants. Each study consisted of people between 18 and 60 years old.
According to Michael Reece, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, the study on men revealed that vibrator use in sexual interactions is common among adult men (45%) and women (53%.)
Men in the study identified as heterosexual, gay, or bisexual, and there were no statistical differences founds in their results. Men who more recently used a sex toy were also more like to participate in healthier sexual behaviours such as performing testicular self-exams.
In conclusion, ‘It’s confusing. If wanking = men, and sex toys = women, surely there must be a cross-over. Many men are still afraid they’ll be seen as weak, pathetic, or lonely for enjoying sex toys. If they’re into prostate play, you can add fear of being branded as ‘gay’ to that list too.
Fact is…’Trini’ Men are using sex toys, and some are enjoying them. As people’s attitudes to sex lighten up a little in the Caribbean and in T&T, society is just about to get their heads around the fact that sex toys aren’t meant to replace intimacy with a partner – but to enhance the whole sexual experience.
Times are changing rapidly and male sex toys are selling fast nationwide, and it seems about time men realized that being open about sex makes you open about life – and whether you’re paired off or single, being happy sexually makes you a happier person overall.
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