Are You Lonely This Trini Christmas?

Are You Lonely This Trini Christmas?

For many, Christmas is a time for family, liming, pastelles, drinks, parang and gifts but this year everything is different due to the Ms. Corona. Alone at Christmas? What sounds like horror to some, can even mean a much less stressful variant of the so-called festival of contemplation for others.

“Let’s be honest: the holidays can be wonderful, but they are also often a source of stress. And this stress often results from social situations,” writes psychologist Dr. Daniel Marston in the trade magazine ‘Psychology Today’.

The Corona-Pandemie this year has a massive impact on these social situations. Being alone during Christmas may sound strange at first, but it doesn’t have to be. Because being alone is a state of following a conscious decision. This is often equated with the term ‘being lonely’, mostly used synonymously.

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These two terms denote the same basic situation: without being other people but they go hand in hand with completely different feelings and usually arise from a different situation.

We have to learn to be alone and ‘lime’ with ourselves

The human being as a social animal is dependent on others? “The term [soziales Tier] implies that because we often need the help of others, we must always have others around us. But that is not the case. We may need others to be involved in our lives when it comes to food, health care, public safety, and / or repairing things, “explains psychologist Dr. Daniel Marston.

Animals would realize much more that social activities are not an end in themselves: “Being with others is important in order to get things done. But when these tasks are done, there is not always the need to talk to others.”

Sounds dreary? Perhaps that’s one of the differences that makes introverts versus extroverts.

Introvertiert vs. extrovertiert

Introverts tend to prefer to spend time alone than extroverts. They even need this time to recharge their batteries and be more balanced at the end of the day.

For these people, the term ‘being alone’ usually has nothing negative, it is much more the expression of the mere state, i.e. not having any other people around. As long as this condition does not get out of hand, they draw a great deal of strength from this.

Extroverts, on the other hand, are considered sociable and feel like they are research According to best among people. This is precisely why many extroverts find it more difficult to be alone – they would perhaps rather describe this situation with the term ‘being lonely’.

These two categorizations go back to the psychologist Carl Jung and date from the 1960s. Of course, both are only the sharp ends of a spectrum with numerous intermediate levels, hardly anyone can be assigned to one extreme or the other.

However, it can be seen from this how differently people can draw strength from being alone.

Being alone can surprisingly bring joy

Back to Dr. Daniel Marston described stress levels over the Christmas holidays. Regardless of whether you are more introverted or extroverted, if Corona ruins your annual plans, that’s not nice.

You can be disappointed and upset about this, and it is perfectly normal to feel alone on the holidays. Even at this point, you can draw a lot of strength from these days, says Marston.

“My perspective is that many of us have to get used to being alone. We humans tend to consider ourselves important only when other people are around.”

And how does that help me for the season?

According to Marston, anyone who is alone at Christmas should remember that this also prevents some of the annual Christmas stress.

Maybe for the first time you can really enjoy time for yourself, recapitulate the past year and, above all, deal with it mentally: “What happens may not be changeable. However, how I feel about it and how I describe it, I can very well change, “said Marston.

You should seek contact with friends or family over the phone or via video, and celebrate the holidays a little for yourself.

Maybe other acquaintances celebrate these days without other people. You should look for these contacts in particular and help them not to feel lonely.

And what introverts may realize more quickly: Being alone does not mean being lonely.

“Enjoy the time with yourself and use the holidays to feel more comfortable in your own company. And take note that your holidays may be very different from previous years and very different from the others partying. But being ‘different’ doesn’t necessarily mean “bad.” It just means different. And learning how to do things differently can be a very good thing indeed, ”advises Marston.

Reference: Marston, D. (2020): Being Alone, But Not Feeling Lonely, This Holiday Season, abgerufen am 23.12.2020:, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/comparatively-speaking/202012/being-alone-not-feeling-lonely-holiday-season

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