Relationships can carry us on a wild bus-route ride of emotions. And as humans, we enter into romantic relationships for many different reasons — love, romance, mutual attraction, fear of loneliness, peer pressure, social expectation, desire for sex, desire for money, or the need for family, etc.
Although, underneath all of these reasons, there’s a more universal reason why we do it, and that is to find true happiness.
Throughout our childhood, fairy tales seduce our minds to believe that people live “happily ever after” painting an image of marital bliss and stability, making us aspire the same level of relationship perfection into our own lives.
However, as soon as we enter the world of romantic attraction and intimate connection, we realize that romantic pursuits are not simple or easily administered.
Each time we enter a new relationship, we’re full of hope for that forever after story. And every time that relationship ends, we wonder why we failed or we console ourselves in knowing that we made a mistake and picked the wrong person. So why failure to find eternal happiness in a relationship continues?
Let’s face it, we’ve been lied to because that’s not how romantic relationships work. Being in a relationship, is not meant to make us happier in life only.
We can try all we want to have healthy relationships, but the simple truth is that giving us a happy life is not the duty of the relationship or of whoever our partner is. Relationships broaden itself to be something more greater in value.
Healthy relationships are meant to make us conscious so we can grow. And only when we truly embrace this idea, we’ll be able to find peace, clarity, and happiness in our relationship.
This concept can be debated and can shock you like a lotto mark because we faithfully and desperately want our partners to make us happy. Placing the responsibility for one’s satisfaction in their hands waiting for the magic to happen…but oh it doesn’t happen.
Vanessa from Chaguanas shared “My man and I had good times that were full of love, joy, compassion, and trust. But, eventually, we would always somehow end up in an argument. There were misunderstandings, frustrations, and anger. And I kept trying to fix things to make us happy again. It was a mad circle that I couldn’t get out of…until I understood that this person never there to make me happy.”
“They were there to help me grow and to help me see what still needed healing, addressing, or processing within me. All relationships with other people serve us as mirrors of our own issues and shortcomings,” Vanessa said.
However, a romantic relationship is one of the closest kinds of relationships that we can ever get into. And because of that intimacy of a romantic connection, it’s the most intense form of mirror that we’ll ever encounter.
Our intimate partner is a perfect match to whatever needs addressing which is what makes that person so attractive to us. We fall in love because we subconsciously recognize that this person is able to show us our wounds, hurts, and traumas. And if we choose to, we’ll grow, heal and expand together.
In this way, each relationship we enter has the potential to make us more conscious, more aware, and more healed.
Most people resist this idea and refuse to grow and heal and usually end up feeling stuck, unable to overcome their issues. However, the opportunities are always there and it’s up to us to accept them and welcome them with open hearts and minds.It can be challenging to admit that we’re not as smart, mature or enlightened as we would like to think. But, behind that step, there’s a world of new, deeper realms and possibilities hidden in each one of our relationships.
If we choose to accept them and do the work, our human development will increase.