Allyuh’ let’s face it COVID-19 and social distancing has been taking its toll on most of us — in-person socializing has pretty much been banned for many months due to the pandemic, and honestly, some of us are starved for affection, and dating looks a lot different than it used to.
That little crush you followed on Instagram a year ago might be starting to look pretty damn good. With no fetes, no ‘setta limes’ or events coming up, knowing how to casually slide into someone’s DM’s can help you shoot your shot from a social distance, some IzzSo readers shared with us.
Whether you’re reaching out to an old crush or putting the feelers out with someone new, according to Claudia Cox, a relationship coach and founder of Text Weapon, sending your crush a DM shows an extra level of interest. “Like dating apps, it’s not meant to be used to find out everything about them,” Cox says, but “It’s just to give them enough of you to make them want to meet up.”
It can sometimes feel like a CXC exam when penning the perfect opening message but as Rodey says “Confidence is Everything.” “Try to start a conversation based on things that you are both interested in,” Cox says. “Start with a common topic and then transition into other things.”
Here are 8 suggested ways for ‘Trini’s’ to slide into someone’s DMs:
1. Comment on One of Their Posts
DMs are private and solely between the two parties involved. A person’s posts, however, are out there for the world to see. As a result, it may be best to wait to leave a comment until there is a stronger relationship.
Coming across as desperate isn’t a good look nah. Tread carefully, whether it’s early on or much later in the relationship.
2. Find Something Relatable to Talk About
Relate to the other person by finding a common hobby or a favourite place that is shared. Determine these mutual interests by exploring their page and finding out what they’re most passionate about.
Keep the following questions in mind while looking for something relatable to talk about:
- Are there any mutual friends in the picture?
- Is there a favourite place both parties enjoy visiting or where they like to lime?
- Is there a passion shared between the two, such as music, fashion, or sports?
3. Pay a Compliment
Don’t over compliment! It may sound obvious, but something like, “Oh Gosh…Yuh bess/sexy” won’t exactly inspire the most profound conversations.
When complimenting someone, it helps to be specific and genuinely interested. Hit both of these marks by following-up with a question related to the compliment.
If they’ve accomplished something big, for example, congratulate them.
4. Alright…Wait for the Perfect Moment eh
When it comes to social media in Trinidad and Tobago and dating in 2020, many often wonder, “What’s the best way to slide into DMs?” Well, once both parties have liked or commented on each other’s posts, it is time to make a move.
Get the conversation started on Instagram by replying to one of their posts with a compliment via DM.
5. Remember: Less Is More
Just like many things in life, sometimes less is more, I repeat…LESS IS MORE! The key here is to slide into DMs and show the recipient that their time is valued. Refrain from sending them a lengthy DM. This may run dem away from someone who comes across too strong. Additionally, they may not want to read something so long.
Keeping DMs short and sweet should provide ample opportunity to get any message across and pique their interest.
6. Keep Those DMs ‘Squeezy’ Clean and Grammatically Correct
Sloppy messages and incorrect grammar can be a major turn-off for some, especially for the ‘prestige’. Before sending a flirtatious DM, be sure to double-check the spelling and punctuation.
It’s also important to refrain from inappropriate texts, especially in the beginning. Before taking flirtation to the next level, remember that everything comes with time.
7. Respect Their Boundaries
If someone’s bio states, “Don’t DM me,” please, Oh goshhhh allyuh, do not DM them. Ignoring their request signifies a lack of respect for their boundaries. Once this line has been crossed, there’s no going back.
8. Don’t Be a ‘Nastiness’
It can be shocking enough to receive a DM from a complete stranger. To avoid coming across as creepy, don’t like their posts from three years ago or come across as demanding.
If the other person is clearly not interested, take the hint. Don’t take their unresponsiveness as an encouragement to be persistent.
Many factors go into DM sliding, from crafting messages to checking for errors. To become a pro, remember to take it slow, wait for the right moment, and remain realistic. Ready to keep the chat going? Feel free to leave a comment below, sharing even more tips for sliding into DMs like a pro.