Ladies…Sometimes, a man can come along and make his mark on you sexually in a way that can explode your very core, only if you allow him, the saying goes.
For instance, like it or not, medical studies have claimed that women produce more estrogen than men do and that the more estrogen that is in the woman’s system, the more likely she is to be emotional and to emotionalize.
IzzSo candidly spoke with various men at a barbershop, asking if they can recall the best sex they’ve ever received and all of them quickly referenced a woman’s/past girlfriend’s name right off of the bat. However, when probed deeper in conversation to see why they aren’t still “dealing” with that individual, they mention things that have absolutely nothing to do with the sex itself. Then they follow that up with, “Good sex ain’t worth the headache nah. Yuh could find good sex lots of places,” one man frankly said.
Sometimes, when trying to get over sex with an ex, many underestimate the foreplay that comes before the actual act (not sexual foreplay) but how a man treats his woman that makes her feel cherished, honoured and closer to him.
Farah, a Trini woman in her 30’s shared what her experience with her past sex partners has taught her. Stating that sometimes, when it comes to who she qualified as being her best in bed, who semi-rocked her world…That there was either an already-established strong emotional connection or because the energy and chemistry with the person were indescribable.
“It wasn’t so much about ‘skills’ or ‘technique’ nah, it was that our synergy was so on point. That we didn’t have to go out of our way to blow each other’s minds, which transpired before even us touching,” she said.
“Coming to this resolution meant that I could let go of the belief that no man would be able to please me like that again. A great lover man isn’t inherent, sometimes they’re trained.”
As she continued, one can realize that it wasn’t so much that the greatest lovers that she ever had were naturally that way.
“I just “fit” differently than I did with other guys. The good news is that, once I accepted that they weren’t great lovers “just because” but it was more about how we worked together, I could accept that I really could move on. Meaning, that while the next guy may not be as “automatic” as men that I’ve dealt with in the past, if we are willing to work together to please each other, we can have some pretty amazing sex too. It might not be the same—no two people ever are really nah—but it can be its kind of amazing. In a different way,” Farah explained.
Certainly, one can’t change their past, but what you can do is give your present a fighting chance by not giving your ex so much power that you can’t open yourself up to all of the possibilities that you can experience with your new ‘Lover Man’.
Some human relationship research suggests that no matter how good an ex may have thought sex was with you, once they’re ready to move on, they will do just that. Even being fine with you being a memory and cultivating some new ones with the next. So really—why not also do the same, sis?