Former Pastor’s wife Lydia Meredith shares her shocking story about her divorce and coming to terms with the discovery of her ex-husband and son’s sexuality.
“I trusted my husband,” Lydia Meredith reveals during an interview with Rolling Out. She recently penned a deeply personal memoir, The Gay Preacher’s Wife: How My Gay Husband Deconstructed My Life and Reconstructed My Faith.
Lydia was married to Reverend Dennis A. Meredith, who is now an openly gay pastor and leading a congregation of over 1K members, predominantly lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. She and the pastor divorced in 2008, but remain close friends despite the fact that they struggled with his infidelity during their marriage.
“I want to share some topics that I feel need to be addressed for women who find themselves in situations like I found myself in and to help them and to show them they can get through it,” said Meredith, who admits it has taken years for her to heal since her husband abandoned her and left her for a man.
“I wasn’t paying attention because I am a recovering workaholic,” she defends. Lydia lived in a state of denial even though her husband was arrested for soliciting sex with a man, and sought a fellow minister to bail him out, never calling her.
Lydia is the founder of Beacon of Hope, Inc., Renaissance Learning Center, with a mission to strengthen families and communities and lift poor children and their families out of poverty. Lydia has master’s degrees in business, Christian education, and public policy from Vanderbilt University, The Interdenominational Theological Center, and Andrew Young School of Policy Studies, respectively.
When asked if she missed or ignored all the signs that her former husband was gay, she said, “Yes, I missed them. I am not a tracker. There are some women who are investigators, who will pick up the phone if their mate is not home at a certain time and if they are not calling. That’s a problem. I am a professional woman working as a senior engineer for a Fortune 500 company. I was living my life, married with three children.”
While she was living her life, she also missed the signs that her middle son, who is now the minister of music at the church where his father ministers, is also gay.
Lydia emphasizes, “The church needs a new kind of ministry, one steeped in the ministry started by Jesus, free of bias, discrimination, hate or prejudice.